Ode To Mommyhood

Wow... Here lately, there have been a LOT of babies being born. So, as a mom myself, I felt compelled to write a post about being a mommy.Here's to all you new mommies, not so new and old mommies, and mommies-to-be. 

Magical. That is the best word I can think of when I think of becoming, and being, a mommy. When you first find out you're pregnant, it just seems unreal. It did to me. Yes, they told me that the blood test showed positive.  Sometimes I caught myself thinking, "Nah, I can't be pregnant. I don't feel like it. How can I have a baby in there?"
Then, a few months go by and you start feeling movement. That 'magical' feeling comes back. Wow! It is amazing, isn't it?
Then, a few more months go by, and yes, you are definitely pregnant. You don't even have to look at yourself to know it-- the swelling, aching, and hugeness of it all doesn't let you forget. That magical feeling of kicks and stretching of skin, organs, and ribs is getting a little tiring. And, you can't wait to get your arms around that little bundle. This is a sweet time, though, remember. This is an exciting time that is hard for people like me with no patience to wait.
Then, the moment you have been waiting for. The moment you have looked to, off in the distance as if it were some unattainable goal, since you got those 2 lines. Well, I never got 2.  I had 6 negative HPT's...
Anyway.... you thought about this day, people asked you about this day, told you it would hurt (duh), and you have dreamed about this day. The day your child is born. A day that is unlike any other; they day your life is forever changed. The day you meet your child. The pain, oh the terrible pain that comes with it is absolutely no match for what you are about to witness-- the moment you actually get to see, with your eyes, the child that has been living inside you for all this time, that you feel like you already know, and have already seen with your heart. (Sorry about the cheesiness, it's just true). It was like time stopped, for me. It was an amazing day. I look back at that day and have to remind myself that I met Caylen on that day. I feel like she has been here all along, and that there was no 'first meeting.' I feel like I have known her my entire life. I can still look back, years ago, and think "was Caylen born yet?' Well, of course not, she is only 20 months old, but I feel like she has always been here! I feel like she was always a part of me.

Anyway, back to chronological order.... Fast forward a few months through the sleepless days and nights, trying to figure out how to be a mother, and then you are here. Where I am. Looking back, thinking, "Wasn't I just there? In that hospital bed with the IV and swaddled newborn?" It just goes that fast. The way I felt then, besides the lack of sleep, food, alone-time, was what I thought was the best feeling ever. Also, the worst. The fear of doing everything wrong, the fear of failing. I was afraid it was always going to be that way. Nervous, anxious, scared.  However, let me tell you, and many of you may be able to relate to me on this, it gets so much better. The crying, the anxiousness, nervousness, fear and anxiety all get better. For both of you. hehe Yep I was one who cried right along with my milk-sensitivity baby. Back to the subject though, it gets so much better-- even for those who think they have it great. All the love, joy, and pride you have in this baby only grows and you only become closer to this little one, and it only seems more impossible, as each day goes by, to live life without them.

Motherhood is such a wonderful experience, and I think it is fantastic to see all of these other women I know entering into such a wonderful time. After Caylen was born, the 'magical' term evolved into a whole new meaning. I watched as my 5 lb. 15 oz teeny tiny baby grew into a talking, walking, eating machine. And boy does it go fast! I am still amazed, daily, that she is such a big girl now, and the new things she does everyday just keep me in awe. So what I am meaning to say is, as far as the 'magical' part goes, as well as the love you feel in the beginning, it only grows!

"Pop In Law"

On Saturday, my father in law, or as he likes to refer to himself, "pop in law' came to visit. I initially was worried that we would be so entangled in moving and trying to close that we wouldn't be able to spend time with him, but luckily it wasn't the case. Unfortunately, however, Caylen was sick the entire time he was here. And, to add to her routine weekend sickness was an eye tooth popping through! Poor thing has it rough! Anyway, I haven't seen my father in law, nor has Caylen, since Christmas so it has been a while! Caylen finally got up the strength to play with him Sunday afternoon, as well as today, and she just loved it!  She learned a new word, 'poppie!' She would look at me and say, "Pappaw, Mammaw, Poppie" it was so sweet. Pappaw and Mammaw are my mom and dad, and she is now calling Gary "poppie!"  Gary went to church and Sunday school with us on Sunday and then came over to mom's house and ate with us. After that, we had planned to go to Helen, but Caylen was not feeling well so she and I stayed at home. Gary is leaving tomorrow, but it won't be long till we see him next, or Marcie, or Michael, Jo, or Cary because we will be up in Kentucky next weekend for a friend's wedding!

Blackballed!

I would like to take this opportunity to review a certain appraiser. He has done a terrible, incompetent job, and I want everyone to know not to use him. His business name is Bozeman's Appraisal Service out of Gainesville, Georgia. His name, Michael Bozeman. He completed the appraisal for our loan, twice, both times being unacceptable and worthless. He obviously doesn't know how to do his job. The VA gave him clear guidelines on how to amend his appraisal, and what did he do? He turned it back in, as it was before. Worthless. So, if anyone is looking to have their home appraised, know to look somewhere other than him.

Why am I giving him this negative review? Well I will tell you it certainly isn't unfounded. He, like I stated earlier, did an appraisal for the house we have been waiting to close on. The appraisal should not have been a problem, yet Michael Bozeman used his incompetent abilities to make it one. The problem with the appraisal was what they call the 'comps.' These are supposed to be 'comparable' houses in the area that have sold recently. What did he put? He put a one bedroom, 400 sq. ft house, and a 2 bedroom, 1100 sq. ft. house against our 2600 sq. ft, 2 acre, 3 bedroom, bonus room, 2 sunroom, with a pond house. Yet, he appraised the house at our buying price. I am sure this looks fishy to the VA, so they denied it and sent it back. Now, we are moving on to get an FHA loan. Thanks Michael Bozeman Appraisal Service!

Slowly, But Surely

Sooo, we were supposed to close on our new home this past Friday. Well, it didn't happen. The appraiser had to amend his paperwork for the comps in the area, and then send it back to the VA. They have sent the appraisal back in today, and I truly hope and pray that everything is right and we can close this week. It has been such a pain to close on this place, and I don't know if I just don't remember closing on the house in Dahlonega, but I don't remember it being this much of a headache. We need to close soon, too, because we have to be out of our house by Thursday! Luckily we have everything packed up except for our closet and the bathrooms. Boy, do we know how to pack up a house quick-- we just started on Saturday! We need to buy 7 more large boxes, but other than that, we have3 been able to use all the boxes we had left over from the move from Dahlonega. And, my wondermous husband has already taken all the items from the basement and garage! Isn't he wonderful!?  I think so.  I also think that Caylen thinks we are nomads, though.... She just rolls with the changes though! Gettin off subject a little, she has been the most delightful child here lately. Not that she is not usually a delight, but I am telling you, she makes every second spent with her a pure pleasure! I don't even want for her to go to bed at night anymore-- I just want to spend more time with her! But, believe me, she still makes it a priority for her bedtime to be before 8. :) Anyway, back to the moving talk, and it is hard for me to write all this through gritted teeth, but it has been a pain! Packing hasn't been bad, but I know after we pack we have to move it over there and then unpack it when we finally move... so on and so forth. I am not really dreading the unpacking so much, I just want to get in our house! The VA is apparently 'cracking down' on loans and they must have every 't' crossed and every 'i' dotted. For real! Anyway, I don't want to complain-- I just want to get this mess over with! I know that this is God's plan and He will work it out for us, and I just must remember to give it to Him and let him do His thing. Hard to do though! Hopefully by our next post we will be in our new house, getting settled in a place we will live forever!

Oh, and I have to say, my father in law is coming to visit this weekend *fingers crossed* so I am really excited to see him and for him to see how big his 'pea girl' has gotten!

Another Trip Planned!

So yesterday, or so, I blogged about how we are going on a trip to Highlands, NC in July. Well, Mom has been wanting all of us to go to Pigeon Forge sometime this summer. By all of us, I mean me and Brandon, mom and dad, Caylen, Ava, and Anna. Funny thing though, and this is going to be a lot of fun, we will be staying there 2 nights then heading over to Highlands! 2 vacations in one! We will also be going to Dollywood, and we are staying in the same hotel we stayed in when we went 2 years ago. Me pregnant, Brandon deployed.  So I will have 2 additional people with me this time, well Caylen was technically in my belly then but I'll count her anyway ;) I can't wait!

Oh yeah and by the way, exactly 20 months ago I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl! For all of those who just had babies, it seems like yesterday that I just had her!

Here's me on that trip in our hotel! It was really hot then, but it's amazing how hot you get when you're pregnant!

New Anniversary Trip

We had to cancel our Anniversary trip that would have taken place this Friday, but since we are closing on our house that day and perhaps moving then, we had to cancel. I didn't reschedule because I just didn't feel like it I guess, and that place gets packed so I didn't want to fool with it. I was so bummed that we had to cancel it too because we had been looking forward to going for months!

Well, I decided to book us another trip that would be during a time that would be seemingly free. On a Monday-Wednesday. What is freer than during the week, right? So, I booked it at a place in Highlands, NC called Fire Mountain! It looks really cool-- we will be staying in a tree house!  There are plenty of places to hike around there, waterfalls, a lake, and lots of farmers markets, and shops too. I have only been there once, and it was when I was pregnant with Caylen, and as many of you know, Brandon was deployed then so it was just me and the folks. We had a lot of fun though! Very pretty!  It is a month away from now, so hopefully we will be settled in our new home and can take some much needed time off with each other ;)

Oh, and I Forgot!

I almost totally forgot to blog about our anniversary-- it was yesterday! As of yesterday, we have been married 5 wonderful years <3

What did we do to celebrate? First we dropped Caylen off at mom and dad's and she spent the night! That was her first night away and boy, was it tough.  After we dropped her off, we went out to a sushi/hibachi grill place near here. It was really good, and I had been craving some sushi. We got sushi as an appetizer, then we ate the salad, soup, and hibachi grilled food. Man, we were STUFFED! After that we grabbed our fortune cookies and went back to the Bville. We went to the local movie rental place going out of business and looked to see if there was anything good. The prices were not that great! I guess they don't need to get rid of stuff too bad! I mean, they were marked down by a couple dollars from what you could get them normally. In my opinion, it wasn't worth it. So, went home, exchanged gifts (5 years traditional gift is wood), and watched Lie To Me on Hulu, and it was reaaalllly good too. We had some cake that Brandon had bought from a store here, like we always do, and it was reaaalllly good too. Then, we hung around on the internet and went to bed. Nothing too magical, but really we treat each other like it is our anniversary most every day, so that's what's important!

Anyway, getting back to exchanging gifts......  We went home and exchanged gifts, and I got Brandon some nice wooden spoons for the kitchen, since wood is the traditional gift for the 5th year. He got me the most wonderful present though, and card! It just made me melt.... The card was one of those long sappy ones and he had a very sweet message at the end. The gift was a wooden plaque with a flower carved into it, and hooks at the bottom for keys and such. So pretty, and so me! He did much better than I did at the gift, but it's okay because for our first anniversary I rocked the gift. The first anniversary's traditional gift is paper, so I gave him some pre-Castro Cuban cigars. Awfully hard to top that one!

I Apologize!

The other day I wrote a post, in venting fashion, about how apathetic I was. Really, I never meant to publish it, I just wanted to write. However, I did accidentally publish the thing. Oops! I have had my mother and mother in law ask me about it, and all I have to say is this: PMS, extended cold/headache, and stress. Brandon has been stressed too, and I give him credit for doing as well as he is! I don't handle stress all that well though, and PMS this time realllly got me. Bad! My head felt like it could explode at any minute, and my neck felt so sore I went to the doctor with my extended cold via daycare that I went to the doctor to make sure I didn't have meningitis! I don't, by the way, but I did get some antibiotics and boy do I feel much better!

As my mother in law reminded me, I am not the only mother who wants to stay at home with her kids. Of course, most moms would probably love to be able to stay at home! We are just at that in between stage of "can we or can't we" and the transition from one to the other has been hard. For all of us! But, I am just going to keep going, working, knowing that I am needed here-- I don't want to leave my family 'high and dry' for the sake of being a family woman, right? So, as for the future, we don't know but right now we will just keep truckin' along and see how it goes!

New House

Remember the house I talked about earlier? The one we are trying to close on, and the one we plan to rot in? Well, we are planning on closing next week, a week from today!  It just sounds way easier than it really is though.
Last time I talked about this house we were awaiting inspection and appraisal. The appraisal went through without a hitch, but the inspector was a real pain in the rear. He wanted all the gables of the house repainted, the deck and pond dock stained, the garage painted, and the roof to be inspected.

Well, the painting got off to a great start today! We picked out a beautiful color, Homestead Brown, and it looks so amazing on that house! It just makes it look brand new, and brings out a lot of the color in the brick.  The garage will also be painted the same color. It just looks awesome. And, Brandon is heading out to the house to stain the deck and dock a little later today. It will be a 'cedar' color. I don't know what that looks like exactly, it sounds pretty, that is just what he told me.

Also, the inspector estimated the square footage on the house and it came out to 2700 heated square feet, not including the deck and front patio and garage.  That is by far the biggest house we have ever lived in! He also made a 'note' about the roof looking dated, but we had a roof inspector come and he said it was fine. Boy, do those VA inspectors keep you on your toes! They just love to make things difficult!

Anyway, the inspector has to come again on Monday and make sure every little request of his was granted so the loan fairy can come visit us. ;) Hopefully we can get all that stuff done by then! Until then, I will be taping up boxes, since we saved them from last move, (a grand total of 3 months ago) and start packing stuff up!

Speaking of Babies.....

So to self-title-- speaking of Babies, I am such a baby gear, um, 'ho.' I love to look at what the 'new' thing is for babies, even though I don't really have a baby anymore. When I was pregnant, that is what I spent most of my time doing. Comparing this and that, review, prices, blah blah blah. I love it though. I think the thing that started me was when I was pregnant and scouting stuff out for CayCay, I found a swing. A certain 'cradle swing' on the internet for sale and I loved it. It was like $120 at a certain supercenter, but I went on Amazon and found it for $60! The same thing! New, of course. So of course I bought it, then the price went up a little. Best deal ever, in my opinion.

However, before I had Caylen, I didn't know what things were important and what wasn't. So, I got some things that I thought that the quality didn't matter as much-- 'they're all the same, right?' No, not right. So there are a few things that I got rid of and gave to someone else, knowing I wouldn't want to use it again. So, since 'we,'read 'I,' have been having baby on the brain, I have been scouting out the baby gear. It is worthwhile too, believe me, because most of the stuff that I scouted out for Caylen has exceeded our expectations. Britax, especially.

So, I was thinking of whether or not to even get an infant seat, since we have 2 convertibles that Caylen will grow out of, Britax of course, but I still think that infant seats are inportant. At least for the first six months. That's how long I left Caylen in hers before we went to convertibles. But I think I might get something on the upper end of Graco, or maybe something nicer. I was thinking the Britax Chaperone, but I think it is just too much for an infant seat. For a convertible seat that provides years of service, okay, but not for one year max. I mean, Britax is awesome, believe me if you have never tried it, it is worth the money. This is from a person without a lot of cash too.

Also, I want a bassinet for my next one. Not just a bassinet/changing table/playpen, I mean an actual bassinet. Why? Caylen hated her multi-tasking bassinet, and I don't blame her. It swayed and was kinda seemingly unstable. In fact, I don't find a playpen necessary at all. So, for those of you first time mommies or daddies scouting out baby gear, just know that many times those things don't get used. My cat used it,and that is about it.

Breastpump. Yep, I said 'breast.' That is because I plan to nurse my next one just as long, or longer than I did Caylen. One year in case you were wondering. But! This time, I will be working full time. Or I think that is the way it is looking. So that means I will need a good pump. I had a hard time pumping anything out when I had Caylen, but I had no reason to stick with it and try hard. The girl never even took a bottle. Ever! So I was thinking about the Medela Freestyle. You know, the one that is hands free, with an LED screen? So you can pump at night, of course, and see what you are doing. Expensive, yes, but if it is good enough to save you from having to buy formula, then that is like $25/week for a year and that adds up to...... $1325. So, it's worth it.  I think I want to use glass bottles too-- I just don't like plastic too much-- it's lost my trust since the whole BPA thing.

Strollers matter too, but I already bought a hybrid of a full size and umbrella.  It will fit a baby in it too. Of course I don't plan on using a stroller much though when they are little because that is what my sling is for. Yet another item I 'scouted' out and was thankful I did. I heard about the whole recall thing, but this one was not included, and I could see how it could happen if you didn't know how to position the baby correctly.


Drop side cribs. I have one. Do I plan on buying another one? No-- that is because mine wasn't recalled, Caylen has always been safe in it, it is well made, and I know it is put together well because I have done it so many times. Caylen didn't even sleep in it until she was 9 months though, and I don't know how it will go with the next one, but I don't feel that her crib is unsafe.

Well, after I have 'blogged' your ear off, I will just say in closing that my next pregnancy will be different too. Less ice cream, more exercise, and no pitocin at delivery!!

Baby Fever!

Is it just me or is everyone having a baby? I mean, EVERYONE! All this babymaking is making me want another one! After I had Caylen, I just knew I was going to wait at least a few years until our next one. Now, don't go thinking we are trying to conceive or anything right now, but we have been 'talking' about our next one. However, Mirena is making sure that it doesn't happen unless it is a well thought-out, conscious decision.

So, maybe in the next year or more? That seems soon to me, especially since Caylen is not out of diapers yet, nor can she take care of herself-- I mean, of course she can't! She's a baby-- I am just saying, I know how high strung babies can come, and I know if I have another "Caylen" I will be stressed to the max. I love her so much and she is worth every ounce of stress, but I just think it would be in everyone's best interest for us to lie low for a while until Caylen's temperament smooths out. And, it has been for the last 6 months or so, but she still has the Terrific Two's coming up. I hate the 'terrible' reference. I mean, if it were up to me, I might have referenced her first year as the Insane Infancy. It was just that wild. However, we can't change our children-- they come out the way that God made them, and I am seeing that Caylen is not only high-needs, but she is a sensitive, caring, and compassionate toddler. I don't regret her being 'challenging' but I know that it is just a part of what makes her who she is. Still, though, there is a part of me that says, "hey, why don't we try for another one? What are the chances that it is as non-compliant as Caylen was? I mean, it may give her someone to watch out after and take care of." After all, she does have a very strong mothering thing going on these days. She pushes Ava's baby in her stroller, carries around her babydoll, puts her baby 'down for a nap..' Ok maybe she was just trying to suffocate it with the blanket. I prefer to think she was nurturing it.

Anyway, I guess I am trying to say that we are getting the first hint of baby fever since we got it with Caylen. So, I am going to take this next year to prepare for another one, and if we decide to, great, but if we don't, it never hurts to be prepared.