Stay at Home or Work? Hmm..

Well, I have been a stay at home mom since I basically found out I was pregnant with Caylen. I always wanted to be a stay at home mom and be the one who takes care of all the home matters, like cleaning, paying bills, grocery shopping, cooking, etc. Caylen is now 14 months old, and she is a really great child and I have loved being able to stay at home with her, but it seems like now that she is older, she needs some more interaction with other children. She is in the church nursery every Sunday, and she loves it, but really that is the only interaction she has with other children. Where we live, there is no Gymboree or Kindermusik that she can go to, nor are there any organized 'mom' groups that we can go on organized playdates with. To add to this, I don't have many friends that live in Dahlonega that have children for her to play with even! I would usually be able to find friends at church or other activities, but we don't even spend much time in Dahlonega anyway. We technically live in Dahlonega, but we spend our social time in Blairsville, since that is where Brandon works and where our family lives. The only reason for us to go into Dahlonega is when I need to go to Walmart or some other store that is close by. So, it is sort of hard to technically live in one place, but spend all of our time in another place that's 45 minutes away!

So, to get to the main point of this entry, I have been thinking about getting a job. To add to the dilemma above, we have had a hard time getting health insurance after Brandon left the military-- he doesn't get it at work either. To get individual health insurance is very expensive for the premium, and then they don't even pay much when you actually do go to the Dr. So, we ended up paying out $250 a month, and then we either avoid going to the dr. at all costs, or we go and pay half the dr. bill, which less than our monthly premium! So, having a degree in teaching, which provides great state benefits including insurance, I have been thinking about going back to teaching.

On top of the health insurance issue, is of course the above stated problem of Caylen not getting enough social interaction. Caylen is very social, and she absolutely loves to be around other kids and to play in a group. I however don't have the financial ability to put her in daycare a few hours a week even. The dilemma is, however, to either stay at home with her all day, and while we would be able to maintain a spotless home and flexibility in my schedule, we are on a budget. There is nothing wrong with being on a budget of course, I think it is a good idea for everyone, but combine that with the issue of Caylen's lack of social interaction, our lack of insurance, and my lack of being able to pursue a career of my own, and it makes getting a job look pretty promising.

Of course there is the issue of me missing Caylen. It would be awfully hard to go from spending every hour of every day with her to a few hours a day and weekends, along with teacher holidays, with her. I know many parents have it worse, as in they work longer hours throughout the entire year, but knowing that it is a choice on my part to take on a full time job, there is a potential of having a huge amount of guilt. So, I am obviously very torn between a better, more comfortable income and Caylen getting more social interaction, and leaving her for 8 hours a day, and not being able to maintain our home as efficiently.

The reason I am thinking all of this through so much, and really just thinking 'out loud' on my blog is so I can hopefully problem solve my way through all this. I have a job interview in January and I am very excited about it, but I keep going back and forth in my head about which choice would be the best for my family. I just want to do what will be the healthiest for my family, and what would make us the happiest. I do not want to do this just for the money, but sometimes having more money can help a family out a lot and relieve some of the stress that financial burdens can bring. I have been praying about this constantly and just asking God that He will make happen what needs to happen. I only want to do what He wants me to do, and to follow the plan He has for our family. Please pray for us during this transition, as there is a potential for many changes and unknowns in our future.

All About My Caylen

So I haven't dedicated an entire post in a while to just Caylen so I figured I would. She hasn't gone through any major changes so I haven't felt the need to write about her, but I have realized that she really has changed a lot since I wrote about her last. So, She now has 5 teeth, and that means that she has had all of them come in within a matter of about 2 months. She hasn't really had too hard of a time, considering she is just constantly getting them in. She now has two on the bottom, in the middle, and three on the top, the two middle and one to her left side. They have came in sort of out of what I would consider 'order' or how they are expected to come in. She got the two in the bottom first, which is normal, but then she got one on the top middle, and then the other top middle and the one to her left at the same time. She looks like she is going to get the top right one in soon now because she has a lump there that she won't let me touch; er, if I touch it I get bitten..... haha Oh and speaking of biting, she loves to give me 'love bites' and I love it! Sometimes they hurt, but most of the time they just tickle and we both get to laughing really hard!
She is really such a good baby, almost toddler; I am really blessed to have such a good little girl. She was not such an easy newborn and younger infant however, and because of that I get queasy at the thought of having another one, on top of having her! I have heard a lot of people say that their babies were easy but once they hit the 1 year mark, they threw fits and tantrums and were less easy going. She is just the opposite though! Since she has hit a year, she has been so easy going and wonderful-- just a joy! She goes to sleep for naps and at night with me just holding her and talking to her. Sometimes she just wants me to put her down in her crib and pat her back and sing to her! I never even dreamed that a baby would go to sleep that easy at all! I mean, when you're pregnant you wish for such things but you never really think it will really happen. Especially to the baby that screamed like a wild animal when being put down in her crib to sleep! I was afraid that she would be a very clingy and high maintenance child like she was when she was a younger infant, but she really has become quite independent! She likes to have her own play time to herself and she will just entertain herself for quite a while! I am so lucky to have such a beautiful, wonderful little girl-- I just had to brag on her!