Stay at Home or Work? Hmm..

Well, I have been a stay at home mom since I basically found out I was pregnant with Caylen. I always wanted to be a stay at home mom and be the one who takes care of all the home matters, like cleaning, paying bills, grocery shopping, cooking, etc. Caylen is now 14 months old, and she is a really great child and I have loved being able to stay at home with her, but it seems like now that she is older, she needs some more interaction with other children. She is in the church nursery every Sunday, and she loves it, but really that is the only interaction she has with other children. Where we live, there is no Gymboree or Kindermusik that she can go to, nor are there any organized 'mom' groups that we can go on organized playdates with. To add to this, I don't have many friends that live in Dahlonega that have children for her to play with even! I would usually be able to find friends at church or other activities, but we don't even spend much time in Dahlonega anyway. We technically live in Dahlonega, but we spend our social time in Blairsville, since that is where Brandon works and where our family lives. The only reason for us to go into Dahlonega is when I need to go to Walmart or some other store that is close by. So, it is sort of hard to technically live in one place, but spend all of our time in another place that's 45 minutes away!

So, to get to the main point of this entry, I have been thinking about getting a job. To add to the dilemma above, we have had a hard time getting health insurance after Brandon left the military-- he doesn't get it at work either. To get individual health insurance is very expensive for the premium, and then they don't even pay much when you actually do go to the Dr. So, we ended up paying out $250 a month, and then we either avoid going to the dr. at all costs, or we go and pay half the dr. bill, which less than our monthly premium! So, having a degree in teaching, which provides great state benefits including insurance, I have been thinking about going back to teaching.

On top of the health insurance issue, is of course the above stated problem of Caylen not getting enough social interaction. Caylen is very social, and she absolutely loves to be around other kids and to play in a group. I however don't have the financial ability to put her in daycare a few hours a week even. The dilemma is, however, to either stay at home with her all day, and while we would be able to maintain a spotless home and flexibility in my schedule, we are on a budget. There is nothing wrong with being on a budget of course, I think it is a good idea for everyone, but combine that with the issue of Caylen's lack of social interaction, our lack of insurance, and my lack of being able to pursue a career of my own, and it makes getting a job look pretty promising.

Of course there is the issue of me missing Caylen. It would be awfully hard to go from spending every hour of every day with her to a few hours a day and weekends, along with teacher holidays, with her. I know many parents have it worse, as in they work longer hours throughout the entire year, but knowing that it is a choice on my part to take on a full time job, there is a potential of having a huge amount of guilt. So, I am obviously very torn between a better, more comfortable income and Caylen getting more social interaction, and leaving her for 8 hours a day, and not being able to maintain our home as efficiently.

The reason I am thinking all of this through so much, and really just thinking 'out loud' on my blog is so I can hopefully problem solve my way through all this. I have a job interview in January and I am very excited about it, but I keep going back and forth in my head about which choice would be the best for my family. I just want to do what will be the healthiest for my family, and what would make us the happiest. I do not want to do this just for the money, but sometimes having more money can help a family out a lot and relieve some of the stress that financial burdens can bring. I have been praying about this constantly and just asking God that He will make happen what needs to happen. I only want to do what He wants me to do, and to follow the plan He has for our family. Please pray for us during this transition, as there is a potential for many changes and unknowns in our future.